FREE WINONA

MEMORANDUM

08/15/07

TO: Winona Ryder

FROM: Derek Loozander

RE: Bring It On!

Oh Winona, My Sharona....

A most unique rise to fame, yours began with such dark and respectably offbeat choices as Heathers, Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, and Dracula, only to progress onward to be peppered with more casual, but still atypical female roles in movies like Mermaids, and Little Women. It was by the mid-90s that your career had clearly achieved a notorious cult status.

This notoriety was clearly not put to waste either, as you led a generation into social combat with your oh-so-famous Reality Bites graduation speech, claiming, ever so nonchalantly, that the answer to all of the world's problems was simply, "I don't know." It may have been exactly then, in that GENX famous moment, that an entire league of people your age felt, for the first time ever, that it was okay - that they had the power to stand up and say to their parents, "You totally just FUCKED us all, thank you very much." 

During this time, in case you were not aware, you systematically rose above all other talented actresses of your age, and mind you there were many, from famous families even - Bridget Fonda, Gwyneth Paltrow, and yes, even Drew Barrymore to name a few, to become an icon. Yes. ICON. For you were not the girl next door, but you were also not the party girl. Not the good girl, but not exactly the bad girl either. Definitely not silly, but also not plain. And yet despite being none of these girls, in a way, somehow, you were a little of them all. You were yourself, in a time when this was the most important thing you could be.

In a time of political correctiveness, when the appropriateness of certain gender roles came into question, you set an example. You were never anybody's wife, but it was not because you were at a loss of alternatives and you were obviously powerful, but never in a way that was threatening or unattractive. You shot straight into outer space, making girls in other galaxies covet your haircut. 

But then there was a breakup, the loss of a good friend, and alas, scandal. And although these forces have worked their fingers into virtually every Hollywood legacy, they worked them a little too deeply into yours, but trust me when I say that it doesn't have to be the end. You still have a respectable career. PLEASE stop playing cameos and bit parts - the world wants to see you! We want to see your skill; the soft kill of your lovely two and only brown eyes. We want to see your grace, and your face - a face untouched by age! We want to see the girl who was there while we were all growing up - the girl we love - GET UP! DO SOMETHING NOW!!

Keira Knightley is vastly approaching....